So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
