You can't motorboat a personality
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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