Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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