So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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