twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
