I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
