At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
