We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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