She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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