I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
