tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
