am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
