I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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