they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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