I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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