Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
