who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
