worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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