can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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