he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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