You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
