where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
