You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
