Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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