This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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