i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
