And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
