Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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