I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
