i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
