Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
