Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
