i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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