I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
