just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
