There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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