scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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