I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
