Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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