I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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