i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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