you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
