Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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