I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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