it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize