i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
