thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
