thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
