yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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