He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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