i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
