it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
