I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
