dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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