we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
